"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love." Bryant H. McGill
A romantic relationship with the one we love, is one of the closest forms of relationships that we have. Finding that partner that we want to spend the rest of our lives with and staying together through the up’s and downs of everyday life, is rarely simple. Throw into the mix, buying a home together, starting a family or getting married and it can become even more challenging.
It’s rare for relationships to exist conflict free. It can be common for disagreements to happen, or for partners to ‘bicker’ or argue. Sometimes the fun element of your relationship can be lost. When this happens, we may naturally start to question our relationship and its longevity. As a result, this can have an effect on our health and happiness.
For some, we try to work through the problem on our own, but this doesn’t always work. It can be really helpful to seek support outside of the relationship. That’s where relationship counselling comes in.
Specialist relationship counselling and psychotherapy in Nuneaton and Hinckley
What is relationship counselling?
Relationship, couples, or marriage counselling is a form of talking therapy. It’s a safe space where you and your partner can mindfully navigate through the challenges of everyday life together. It offers you and your partner the opportunity to be truly heard. Also, you both have the time to better understand each other's viewpoint on life and your relationship together, whilst finding the tools to handle the emotions that come up.
Most of the work you do will take place in the therapy room. However, on occasions I may ask you to complete tasks as homework i.e. a specific task or to discuss a topic at home together.
You can then talk this through when we next meet. You are encouraged to discuss any challenges that you faced and how the experience made you both feel.
Relationship counselling is ideally suited to couples attending sessions together, but this may not be possible from the offset. It may be that one partner is reluctant to come to therapy. That too is ok. I am happy to begin therapy with you at first. Maybe your partner will decide to join at a later stage.
It’s a great place for you to seek support during life's transitions into marriage, parenthood, living together, separation or reconciliation. You can learn how to communicate in a healthier way. You may want to deepen your intimacy and connection or even re-establish your connection and enjoyment within each other's company...
What relationship counselling isn't....
My role as a couple's counsellor is to facilitate change within your relationship. It’s also within my role to help with resolution of life's challenges together. Please remember that I’m not here to simply give you the answers and I won’t tell you whether you should separate either.
What can relationship counselling help with?
Communication Difficulties - Relationship counselling can help couples communicate in a more positive way with each other. Remember, we learn how to communicate with people as we grow into adulthood. This strongly influences how we communicate with others in our adult relationships. It is possible for couples to make a conscious choice to change our communication style with one and other, and form a happier relationship together.
Premarital Counselling - Before we get married, it’s sometimes important to get things in order. Premarital counselling is a place where we can discuss things like finances, bank accounts, purchases, household duties, family wants and dreams, and so much more.
Issues relating to sex - Sex can bring you and your partner together. But for some it’s a burden that’s fraught with anxiety, embarrassment, anger and hurt. Sexual issues is something I see a lot of in therapy, and it’s something I can help you with, whatever the issue.
Unfaithfulness - Infidelity within your relationship can be the most painful and damaging thing we face together. It doesn’t need to mark the end of a relationship though. Relationship Counselling can be a safe and healing space for you both. Perhaps even a space where you can find practical ways to come through the other side, stronger and together.
Families coming together - In todays’ society it’s sometimes common for one or both partners to have children from another relationship. This can have its own struggles and issues. Each partner may have their own parenting style or the new family identity and makeup can cause issues. This can all be explored.
The end of a relationship - When relationships end it can be difficult, regardless of whether it’s a mutually agreed separation or not. For many sadness, anger, grief and loneliness needs to be explored. Sometimes a relationships ending requires difficult discussions around housing and children. Or perhaps you need to discuss how best to communicate, now the relationship has ended.
Trust issues - Trust is a vital part of any relationship. It’s important in any healthy relationship. Unfortunately, when it’s broken, the relationship can be harmed or even destroyed. We sometimes want to rebuild the trust quickly, but it can be a slow and sometimes difficult process. However, relationship counselling can help you both nourish a new sense of trust.
Relationship counselling can also help with a whole host of issues, including: understanding how family values, religion, lifestyle and culture are affecting your relationship; reflecting on how past events in the relationship are affecting the here and now; learning how to deal with conflict in a more positive way.
Any couple could benefit from better communication skills, putting intention into the dynamic, or just having a few moments to connect without distraction. Building a relationship with a couple's therapist can be valuable, so if times get tough, you already have an ally to lean on.
Why did I choose to specialise in relationship counselling?
I’ve been working with families and couples for quite a while. Initially it was a need for my work with addicts and young people but it soon became a genuine area of interest for me. I love to support couples in the quest to find one another, and to reconnect (where possible) and when this isn’t possible to help them draw the relationship to a close in an amicable and product way, for both.